Daring deeds during dawn desk dumping

Once upon a time there were three housemates with a large, ugly, decrepit desk cluttering up their living room. The youngest housemate said, "Let's put it in the basement." The middle housemate said, "Let's take it to the dump." The oldest housemate said, "Let's get up really early, wear all black, draw fake moustaches on our faces with eyeliner and sneak it on to a fraternity's lawn." (Okay, the oldest housemate's getting a little too much credit. It was the middle housemate who knew that the Greek system has free dumping--she's in a sorority--but the disguises were all me...err, ahem, the oldest housemate's.) Sadly, the oldest housemate has a tender conscience, and much of the drama was lost because the desk was deposited by the dumpster rather than in some other, more prime, location.