So I'm an optimist

You know how you can walk up to some people (and I think we all know which people) and they will, without provocation, begin throwing letters at you, letters that define who you are and what you do? For example, ENTJ or ISFP. Well, the two times I've actually taken this test (granted, a while ago) I came out evenly split between T (Thinker) and F (Feeler). I'll admit that part of me savors this evidence of internal complexity. Sadly, the larger truth is that this complexity confuses me, or at least results in wasted time.

Here's an example from tonight:

Every once in a while, I get this urge to hear out telemarketers. I mean, I really want to believe that they have something worthwhile to say (feeler). They're people too, afterall (feeler). And they've got to make a living (feeler). So they call me up, and I listen to their offer. But then the thinker kicks in. Why do they want my bank routing information? Why did the man's employee ID number change within the space of 3 minutes? Why do all these people with exotic accents have names like James Butterworth and Marshall Hunt? (Feeler kicks back with an "It's that wicked imperialism").

Given the increasing doubts, I attempt a polite escape. But I'm compromised by my dual nature. It's sapping me of much needed external assertiveness.

Paralyzed by this internal dialogue, I keep listening. Marshall Hunt throws in something for the thinker--"hard facts" if you will--phone numbers, addresses, location numbers.

But by now, the feeler's not really buying it. They're using way too many big words. The verbal manipulation's a bit too obvious. Besides, I'm vaguely uncomfortable with their pronunciation of legit-eh-mate; some awkward cross between Indian salesman and Australian come on.

Time passes. I've already told them (several minutes ago, in fact) that I won't be giving out any bank information. They're beginning to believe it for themselves.

We say a terse goodbye.

My feeler feels guilty for wasting their time. My thinker thinks "What about OUR time?!!" My feeler says, "Well, at least I believe in the good in people." My thinker says, "Well, at least I'm a realist" and beats up my feeler.

It's exhausting, really.